Wasted years.
Spent on being bitter, wondering how things could have been, worring about all the little things. So much time passed. I used to think that only if you fall can you get up, but the more I fell, the more I just kept falling.
It took a gust of grace to lift me up; to show me that what I was looking for was around all the time. The trees, the birds, the winds, they were always whispering.
Wasted years, searching for a path. Wondering when the inspiration would come. Wondering when I would be myself again.
I stumbled into a new home and realized that there was a hand at my back this whole time.
I had forgotten just how many people, how many moments and how much love had gone into making me into the person I am. I had forgotten, that each moment is a miracle. I know that all of us have the same story.
Wasted years, thinking about how I could get ahead. Comparing myself to others. Scheming, plotting, trying to make a name for myself.
It took the poetry of Kabir ringing in my ears during a full moon night to realize that all of us, at the center, we are all the same. We are all searching for the very same thing.
Wasted years, so many relationships I’ve squandered. So many people I’ve hurt along the way. Each person I’ve met came with a gift, holding a flower in their hand. The next time I hope I come with open hands, ready to receive all that you have to offer.
It took a leaf on a tree to show me just how many years we’ve wasted. Building bombs, weapons, scare tactics, making each other afraid of one another. Competing for just about everything. As I look at that leaf I realize that I just want to spend the rest of my life feeling grateful, does anything else really matter?
Wasted so many years, on myself.
It took three months to October to show me that I could have given so much more. I could have washed more dishes, made more sandwiches, greeted more guests, made the floor just a little bit cleaner. When I’m 90 with three months to go, I don’t want to be feeling this way. So I’ve got to give, more than I’ve ever given before to take advantage of the years that are just wasting away. To save the rest of myself.